xkcd
2
Wait Wait
You can't stab Carl Kasell. He sounds all slow and stentorian, but he moves like a
snake.
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![Headlines! Stockpiled in case Peter Sagal, host of NPR's Wait Wait Don't Tell Me, does something newsworthy in 2012. ((Series of above-the-fold newspapers follows; Each has a headline, picture in most of them, and an explanation)) Wait Wait Don't Shoot Me [[A fierce Peter Sagal in a balaclava brandishes a gun in a supermarket]] NPR's Sagal in Whole Foods hostage standoff. Wait Wait Don't Vote For Me Peter Sagal quits race for GOP top spot [[A sullen and defeated Peter Sagal surrounded by supporters admits defeat]] Wait Wait Don't Judge Me Sagal opens up about his Kermit fantasy. [[Stock profile images of Peter Sagal and Kermit the Frog]] Wait Wait Don't Fire Me [[Stock profile image of Peter Sagal]] Peter Sagal let go after racist tirade. Wait Wait Don't Cancel Me NPR axing news quiz. [[NPR spokesperson delivering announcement]] Wait Wait Don't Interrupt Me Sagal stabs Carl Kasell in on-air dispute. [[Peter Sagal mid-attack with a knife]] Wait Wait Don't Look At Me [[Peter Sagal with a skin condition]] Peter Sagal's Poison Ivy Ordeal Peter Sagal: "My 'Nam" Wait Wait Don't Friend Me Peter Sagal deletes his Facebook account. [[Person holding up a laptop with an "Facebook account not found" screen]] Wait Wait Don't Seduce Me How Lakshmi Singh stole Sagal's Heart. [[A wistful Lakshmi Singh being left by a sullen Peter Sagal]] Wait Wait Don't Leave Me [[A wistful Peter Sagal being left by a furious Beth Sagal]] Sagal's wife out after affair Wait Wait Don't Spray Me Police Raid Sagal's Occupy NPR protest [[Scummy policeman in riot gear spraying Peter Sagal in the face point blank with what is essentially a food product]] Wait Wait Don't Indict Me Sagal, five others named in cash-for-tote-bags scandal [[Peter Sagal doing a perp walk]] Wait Wait Don't Clone Me Peter Sagal 'Outraged' over DNA harvesting. [[Fiery Peter Sagal, missing a small amount of DNA, at a podium]] Wait Wait Don't Bust Me Peter Sagal's ghost captured [[Ghostbusters, careful not to cross the streams, capture the ghost of Peter Sagal]] Wait Wait Don't Dissect Me Snoozing Sagal nearly snuffed in autopsy snafu [[Peter Sagal running away from from a very surprised pathologist]] Peter Sagal: "I ain't dead!" Wait Wait Don't Objectify Me Peter Sagal is more than just a piece of meat Wait Wait Don't Beatify Me [[Peter Sagal shakes his fist at a picture of the pope]] Peter Sagal Rebukes Pope Wait Wait Don't Me Peter Sagal Accidentally [[Peter Sagal in a blank vacant]] Wait Wait Don't Speak Its Name [[eyes... Eyes... AAAHHH]] Peter Sagal wakes Eldritch terror Peter Sagal:"AAAAAAAA" Wait Wait Even For NPR This Is A Bit Much This American Life to document the road to recovery for those who suffer the trauma of losing on Wait Wait](https://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/wait_wait.png "You can't stab Carl Kasell. He sounds all slow and stentorian, but he moves like a snake.")